Yesterday, a group of Viking raiders descended upon the unsuspecting town of Greenhaven, intent on pillaging and plundering its riches. Or so they thought. In reality, the only thing they managed to steal was a toaster from the local bakery.
According to eyewitnesses, the Vikings stormed into the bakery, brandishing their trusty battle-axes and shouting "We're here for yer precious booty!" However, instead of finding treasure, they found a perfectly good toaster that had been left unattended. The baker, whose name is Bjorn, was seen attempting to reason with the Viking leader, Olaf, explaining that the toaster was for making pastries, not gold.
"I asked him what he wanted, and he just said 'all yer bread'!" Bjorn recounted in an exclusive interview. "I mean, I get it, they're Vikings, but come on! Can't a guy even enjoy a buttered bagel without being asked to hand over his life savings?" Olaf, visibly confused, responded with "But... but I thought this was the village of the Great Beard King!" The villagers, amused by the situation, couldn't help but burst into laughter at the absurdity of it all.
The raiders, now known as the 'Bread Brigade', spent the rest of the day attempting to figure out how to operate the toaster, with mixed results. "It's like they think it's a magical artifact that'll grant them instant bread supremacy," said local resident, Helga. "Meanwhile, I'm over here trying to explain the concept of bread crumbs and why you shouldn't eat them all."
In related news, Olaf has since added an entry to his Viking biography: "Attempted to steal toaster from bakery, ended up making burnt toast for breakfast." The incident serves as a reminder that even the bravest warriors can sometimes get a little... crumby.
This article was written by:
Gorthok the Unyielding (aka "Gorthy McSnazz")